One plus one makes two
by jin0uga
Summary: Because Coco and Ruby are dorks, Velvet and Blake team up to get them together. With less than stellar results. Coco/Ruby. One shot.


"You did WHAT?"

Velvet took a step back. "C-Coco?"

"Oh dust damn it." Coco plucked the beret off her head and proceeded to wring it in her hands. " _Dust damn it_."

She started pacing, and gnawing the tips of her manicured nails. The mildly humid air made her feel like she was being choked, her palms becoming slick with sweat. After a while, Coco abandoned her gloves on the table because for the first time in her life, they felt restrictive. Velvet placed a hand on her shoulder. Becoming more worried by the second. If she didn't stop Coco now, there would be burn marks on the wood panelling by the time Ruby arrived.

"Would you calm down?" Her leader jumped when she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Watching you pace like that is making me nervous."

"I can't help it." Then, her voice turned accusing, "It's your fault for inviting her over without telling me!"

"She wanted to see my weapon. I couldn't say no, not when she used those eyes on me." Velvet sighed. "Look Coco, I know you like her but-"

Coco spun on her heel and jabbed her finger at Velvet's chest. "Hey! What did I say about that topic!"

The rabbit Faunus took a step back, holding her hands up in surrender. "Do not, under any circumstances, talk about your feelings for her while in Beacon. Any discussion of said emotions is strictly prohibited." She recited, inwardly cringing at how stupid the rule sounded when spoken out loud.

Coco was one of the most level-headed people she knew on the battlefield. But off of it, she could be easily thrown off balance. Little things like leaving her sunglasses in the bathroom, or the coffee machine in the lunch room breaking down. That sort of thing. Being unable to control her feelings for the fifteen-year-old weapon nut was also, one of those 'little' things.

The beret wearing girl eased off, giving Velvet a curt nod. Breaking eye contact, she continued pacing around the room again – shooting aggravated glances at her own desk.

Velvet watched as Coco cleared the desk of any dorky knick-knacks that might've gave her true nature away. Things like, a collection of ' _Fashion for You and I_ ' magazines as well as the ' _Weapons, Weapons, Weapons_ ' brochures Coco religiously collected from every dust shop she set foot in. The leader of CFVY threw them into the empty clothes hanger before kicking it under Fox's bed.

Velvet felt her nose wrinkle. Those brochures were going to smell like sweaty socks and underwear.

On the table beside Fox's bed was Velvet's study desk, and on it lay her dismantled weapon. She'd done it in preparation for the 'cleaning' that would commence once Ruby arrived. Until the redhead got here, however, the rabbit Faunus had to contend herself with Coco's paranoid muttering. She watched as Coco took out her mini-gun, took it apart on her bed, and then put it back together. Again and _again_.

"Don't you dare fiddle with it anymore!" Velvet cried when Coco put it back together for the fifth time. "Take a deep breath and relax! Everything is going to be fine, alright? J-Just, I don't know, stay cool and act like you always do."

"I'm trying!" Coco twirled the strands of her coloured fringe, "Fuck, what if I scare the crap out of her? God knows what I'll act like when we're in the same room. I can barely even keep eye contact when I see her in the halls." She said with a hint of bitterness. "I should leave. I won't be of any help in this state, just call me when you're done."

Velvet opened her mouth to respond when a loud knock drew their attention. The sound agitated Coco further. With renewed vigour, she began pacing the room even faster. Now regretting inviting Ruby over, Velvet shook her head and walked to the door. As much as she suddenly felt like putting this off, it would be rude to keep someone waiting.

She turned the knob. "Hey, I'm glad you could make it Ru–" She stopped in mid-sentence.

Blake muttered a greeting and gave her a small wave. "Ruby got held up in class. She sends her apologies, along with a bag of cookies." She chuckled, holding up the small decorative bag of pastries which were reserved for the people she'd pissed off. Namely, Weiss, Goodwitch, and Weiss. Sometimes Nora, for no reason other than to satisfy the girl's sugar craving.

"Oh." Was all Velvet said. She turned around to relay the news, only to find Coco with her hands on her knees, heaving a huge sigh of relief. The strength of it was enough to make their eyebrows shoot up, the two Faunus exchanging looks. Coco adjusted her scarf and shot both of them a grin – her current demeanour a far cry from the one she'd shown just a minute ago.

"That's too bad." Coco's smile was entirely too wide as she said it, "I was really looking forward to it. Shit happens I guess!"

Velvet glared at the bold-faced lie while Blake just gave her a small tilt of the head, not really sure what to say in the face of that declaration. Coco pushed past them, eager to get a cup of iced coffee. All this stress was making her crave caffeine. She quickly said her goodbyes and sped down the hallway towards freedom.

Meanwhile, Velvet and Blake stared after her with a combination of amusement and disbelief. "…So. That was a thing." Blake said blandly, fiddling with one corner of her bow.

Velvet shuffled in place for several seconds, until she raised her head to meet striking amber eyes. She took in a deep breath.

"You heard everything."

It was phrased as a statement and for good reason. Coco might have forgotten that Blake was a Faunus but Velvet certainly hadn't. There was no way Blake missed Coco's outburst since she had been directly outside their door. Not with her keen hearing.

"I did." Blake confirmed, her mouth twisting to form a small grin. "And I have something I think you'd want to hear. Concerning those two dorks." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"Coco's not a dork." Velvet defended weakly, "She's just…okay fine, you got me there." She grumbled, recalling what happened previously. "Sooo, out with it." She smiled, bumping their shoulders together.

"I happen to know that Ruby might have a crush on your leader." Blake sighed, "She's been stressing out over it for several months now. Apparently, it started when she saw Coco take out all those Grimm during the breach. You know, the one when she split those nevermore into two?"

Velvet nodded, recalling how the star-struck demeanour of the redhead when they gathered under the bullhead. That actually made quite a lot of sense. When Torchwick was being escorted away, Ruby had been staring straight at team CFVY the entire time. Velvet had initially thought that she was staring at their weapons – Ruby's love for weapons were pretty much well-known at that point. "That's great! And come to think of it…shouldn't you be in class as well? I'd hardly think Ruby was the only one who got held up."

"Oh, that? Yang started teasing her about what would happen if Coco in the room with both of you." Blake said, "From what I heard from Weiss, Ruby got so nervous she ended up passing out." She gestured to herself. "And so, here I am."

Velvet cringed, shaking her head. "So what should we do about this? Honestly, I rather have Coco work up the guts to approach Ruby – but I can't have her flipping out whenever she's in the vicinity."

Blake nodded sagely, "Agreed. Whenever Ruby finds out that your team is nearby, she takes off like a shot and goes into hiding. We don't see her until dinner time when it happens." Blake bit her lip and tried not to massage her temples.

She'd spent so much time running around the school the past few months that her most of her library books were already overdue. And she had only managed to finish one of them! Romance, while straight forward and cute in novels, were decidedly headache inducing and messy in real life.

Velvet wracked her brain for a possible solution to their dilemma, as did her now partner-in-crime.

"So…what should we do?"

* * *

Blake and Velvet strode down the hallway, side by side, engaged in verbal battle. It had been a week since they first decided on ' _Operation: one plus one_ ' and already, they were having artistic differences over the matter.

"Like I said, that wouldn't work…" Blake growled, "Ruby wouldn't fall for that in a million years."

Velvet huffed. "Well miss high and mighty, I'll like to see you come up with a better plan."

"I have, and it includes the use of chocolate and peppermint."

"Blake! I already told you that Coco hates peppermint!"

They turned down the corner of the hallway, nearing team CFVY's room. Everyone sidestepped the arguing pair, not wanting to incur their wrath.

Already, Blake had thrown a plate at someone's face for having taken the table reserved for team RWBY and CFVY's joint lunch, which led to another food fight of epic proportions, but only because Yang followed up by throwing a plate of pudding at Nora.

Velvet on the other hand, had head-butted Cardin into unconsciousness when he snatched a handful of cookies Velvet had tried to plant outside of team RWBY's dorm room. The rest of CRDL had run away screaming when she summoned Coco's mini-gun and threatened to use them as pin cushions.

With every single one of their ideas failing, the pair were at their wit's end. Ruby was absurdly difficult to track down ever since she'd caught wind of the plan to have her confess her attraction to Coco, and the leader of team CFVY was still actively avoiding the younger girl.

"No but see–" The cat Faunus gestured to the jar she was holding, "This is the best peppermint tea you'd ever taste. Even a non-believer took to this instantly." She snapped her fingers.

"Spiking Professor Oobleck's coffee doesn't count," Velvet rolled her eyes, "And besides _my_ plan is much better–"

"–no it is _not_! Mine–"

"–wouldn't work even if Coco suddenly grew some balls! I'm telling you, it'll never–"

"Ahem."

Glynda glowered, the menacing expression on her face halting the two squabbling students. Brown rabbit ears went stiff with fright, while Blake shrunk into herself and suddenly felt that the urge to run for her life grow _extremely_ strong.

"I could hear your ruckus all the way from my office." She glared. "Also, Miss Belladonna, Miss Scarletina. I've realized that _every_ disruptive event which happened in the past week usually has both of you in the vicinity." She folded her arms, looking less amused as the seconds ticked by. Blake caught a glimpse of the mustard stain on her collar and _eeped_.

Velvet laughed uneasily, "Y-Yeah, haha what a silly coincidence. O-Oh look the time! I have to get going, I have _class_ –" Blake's arm shot out to keep her in place, grabbing Velvet before she managed to bolt. Cat ears twitched erratically under the black bow as Blake tried to keep a neutral expression. The tension in her shoulders was a dead giveaway to Glynda, however.

The older woman sighed. "Make sure that you aren't caught near any more _incidents_." She grit her teeth at the memory of being made to repair the lunchroom. _Again_. She would never figure out how the students wrote 'Beacon 4 Lyfe' on the walls with ketchup. Glynda strode away from the pair in large strides, ignoring the loud thumps that sounded like two bodies hitting the ground.

She shook her head, never pausing in her strides. Glynda was well aware of what they were trying to do – mostly because of the aftermath of their failed plans.

"Honestly." She muttered, "What has this world come to, when the task of matchmaking students falls to a _professor_." She pinched her temples. "Damn you and your ships, Ozpin."

* * *

In his office, the headmaster suddenly sneezed, snorting coffee through his nose.

* * *

Blake and Velvet watched with wide eyes as Coco swept Ruby off her feet and spun her in a circle. They were giggling and staring at one another with lovesick smiles, which seemed so surreal.

Jaws dropped when Coco set the redhead down, smiling all the while, only for Ruby to stand on her tiptoes and press a kiss to Coco's cheek.

All this happened in the span of two minutes. Even after the newly formed couple had left the recreation room, their eyes were still fixated on the spot where Ruby and Coco once stood. Standing little ways beside them was the 'I-am-paid-too-little-for-this' professor and full-time clean up staff – Glynda Goodwitch. Her riding crop was tucked under one arm, the satisfied gleam in her eyes not matching the tired smile on her lips.

"Professor," Blake croaked, turning to look at her, "what… what did you do?"

Glynda sighed, and slid her free hand in her pocket, where two counterfeit report cards were stowed. It was unfortunate that she had to witness her students share their first kiss, but she mused that it was all for the greater good. She didn't know how many more places she could fix before Beacon collapsed on them.

"Nothing you need to know, Miss Belladonna." Glynda replied grimly, "But I hope you take this as a lesson to never, _ever_ , go against the headmaster." The headmistress shivered. "Hmph, wizard indeed."

Turning on her heel, Glynda left the room. Her cape fluttering majestically behind her.

* * *

 **A/N:**

Haha so this is a thing. Fun fact, this was actually the scrapped version of _The First Step_ , which is another CocoRuby fic I wrote. I rewrote some parts of it and threw in a new ending. I didn't want to end the month without an update or story of some sort – I'm currently in the middle of my major exams (bleargh) thus my radio silence. I'm heading to bed now, so pardon the sloppy authors note. With that said, I hope you enjoyed the story! Let me know what you think!


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